What to expect when you aren't expecting to be...
by Dragonmyst
Summary: Answer to a challenge. It isnt my fault and I wont be held responsible :)


Title:  What to expect when you aren't expecting to be expecting

Author: MysticDragon

Rating: PG13-some swearing may occur

Genre: Humor

Pairing: Beka/Dylan

Disclaimer: They belong to Tribune and I get nothing from writing this except sore fingers 

Spoilers: small one from The Things We Cannot Change

A/N: this is a response to Evil Trance 1's challenge to:

write a story about what would happen if Dylan found out (somehow) that he had or will have a child/children.

I don't think this is what Evil had in mind but…………

Dylan tossed and turned in bed trying to get comfortable. He had had an exhausting day and was now having trouble getting to sleep. Finally, after about an hour, he fell into a restless sleep. And he began to dream.

Dylan woke to the sound of the alarm. He was disoriented and did not recognize his surroundings.

'Where am I? This is not Andromeda. What in the world is going on?' he wondered, as he looked around the lavishly decorated bedroom. The room was very tastefully done in deep blue and gold. He was alone in the bed but he could tell someone had recently slept on the other side. He also noticed clothing belonging to a woman, as well as other feminine touches in the room. 

'Awww, crap!' he silently groaned. 'I hope this isn't another one of those dreams where I am married to Liandra and have Ethan as a son.'

Dylan swung his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up slowly. He couldn't help but notice how badly he had slept. His back ached and his legs felt swollen. Putting his feet in the bedroom slippers he found by the side of the bed, he stood slowly and reached for his robe. He continued to look around the room, hoping to find some clue as to where he was and what was expected of him. As he turned, he caught his reflection in the full-length mirror hanging across from the bed. He hesitated for a moment, not fully believing what he was seeing. When it became obvious to him that he was not imagining what he saw, he did the only thing that made sense. He screamed. 

Dylan didn't register the sound of running feet or the sound of a door on the other side of the room being thrown open in a rush. He wasn't aware of the fact that someone was calling his name or shaking him. He wasn't conscious of anything except the image in the mirror.

"Dylan!" his wife screamed. "Dylan, answer me now, damn it!" Getting no response from him at all, she finally raised her hand and slapped him across the cheek. "Tell me what is wrong, please." She begged. "And for the sake of the Divine, stop screaming!"

The sting from the blow to his cheek slowly penetrated the fog in Dylan's mind. He finally became aware of his surroundings once again. He also became aware of the fact that Beka was standing in front of him, dripping wet, straight from the shower. His mouth closed with a snap, shutting off the sound of his screams.

'Okay,' he thought, 'this is definitely getting interesting.'

Seeing that she finally had his attention, Beka asked once more, "What is going on?"

Trying hard to find the words to express what he was experiencing, Dylan finally blurted out the basest of his feelings. "I'm a blimp."

Sighing in exasperation, Beka replied as kindly as possible. "You are almost nine months pregnant, Dylan. You are supposed to be a blimp."

"But, but," Dylan still struggled to try to get into words what he was feeling. He settled for simply, "But how?"

"How what?" Beka asked distractedly as she began to get dressed.

"How-did-I-get-pregnant?" he asked slowly through gritted teeth.

"Oh, honey, it was your idea. Remember?" She said. 

"No, actually I don't." he said, sitting down on the bed. "I don't seem to remember any of this. It is like a bad dream."

Beka sighed again and began speaking as she would to a small child. "After I had so many problems with my pregnancy with Devan, you said that you didn't want me to have to go through that again. But since you insisted that you wanted an even dozen kids…"

"A dozen?!?" Dylan squealed.

"You asked Harper and the Perseids to devise a way for you to carry the baby." Beka continued as if Dylan had not interrupted her. "Now, I really have to hurry or I will be late for work. The kids have all had breakfast except for Devan. Just give her a bottle when she wakes up. Have a good day, sweetie." She said before walking out of the room.

Dylan sat on the bed for a moment, trying to take in everything he had heard. Deciding that this couldn't be real, he hurried after Beka, hoping that she would tell him it was all a bad joke.

Once in the hallway, Dylan found himself surrounded and being attacked. Ten small figures were crowding close, trying to get his attention.

"Daddy, Donovan hit me!" A small girl with red pigtails wailed.

"Only because she flushed my science notes down the toilet." The oldest child retaliated.

"Did not!" she screamed.

"Did too!" Donovan yelled.

"Daddy, Madison poured her milk all over the cat." Another small boy was saying.

"Hey Dad! Did you know that Jordan is stuck in the tree?" 

"Dad, Jamison pushed the car into the swimming pool again."

"Daddy, Kylie cut my hair." A five year old cried.

"Devan is awake, Daddy. And she stinks real bad." Yet another red headed girl called.

"Bekkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaa!" Dylan screamed.

"Bekkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaa!" Dylan screamed, tossing around on the bed. Flailing wildly, he became wrapped in the bed covers, and tumbled from the bed to land on the floor in a heap.

Holo-Rommie appeared before him and asked anxiously, "Dylan, are you alright? Should I send for some help?"

"Where is Beka?" he asked fearfully, still not fully awake but with the images from his dream still vivid before his eyes.

"She is still on duty on command." The hologram figure answered.

"Thanks." He called back over his shoulder as he ran from the room, not even bothering to dress.

He ran quickly toward the command deck. Already the images from his dream were starting to fade but he knew he would never forget the nightmare he had experienced. He waited impatiently for the doors to slide open.

"Dylan!" Beka exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Instead of responding right away, Dylan grabbed her and kissed her passionately. It was several minutes before he finally released her and answered her earlier question.

"I had to tell you I was sorry for what I said earlier. You were right. It took us such a long time to get to where we are and we shouldn't rush into anything. I am sorry I tried to push something on you that you didn't want."

"I never said I didn't want kids, Dylan." Beka said quietly. "But you kept going on and on about how you wanted four or five of them and I just don't think I could handle that many."

"You are absolutely right. There is no way we should have that many kids. I mean I would like to have at least one, someday, but that would be plenty."

"Well, I am not sure what made you change your mind but since you brought it up, I guess I really should tell you…"


End file.
